The End, or the Start of the Beginning

I'm finishing up my narrative after eight long weeks of intensive work.  Most days I've spent hours upon hours doing the actual writing, and I can confidently say that every single day I've at least spent half of my waking moments thinking about the novel.  Sometimes people say that I seem quite far away, lost in my own thoughts.  To be specific, I'm lost in my own world: the fantasy world of Em.

As I come to the end of the story, which is really only the end of the first of a trilogy, I find myself reflecting more and more.  I always have a tendency to become introspective when I'm finishing something up.  I spent days thinking back on my years at university as both my undergraduate and postgraduate degrees came to a close.  When I left my last call centre job, I spent a long time just remembering all the experiences that I had encountered (most of which I must say were very, very bad).

I believe that being reflective is a job hazard for the writer (I mean, what am I doing now but reflecting on how being reflective is a job hazard for a writer).  However, as inconvenient as it may be sometimes and downright annoying for other people -- no one wants to feel like they're being ignored, but often the author or poet cannot help but disappear for hours at a time into their own brain -- I feel that it's integral to the entire process of writing.

My experience of novel writing has been one of constant revision, and revision comes through reflection.  It's not just about editing the words as they appear on your page or screen.  More importantly it's about taking a serious look at everything: the characters, the structure, and even the entire plot.  No more so is this important than when you reach the end of the first draft, when finally you have a novel from start to finish.  You must reflect, because while you might have the words, they may be complete and utter rubbish.  You need to take a good look at everything and think to yourself, is this really necessary?  Does this character serve a good purpose?  And ultimately, does this character/chapter/plot really deserve to be in the narrative at all?

This is the position that I find myself in right now.  The penultimate chapter has been completed, and the little blinking cursor on my screen is urging me on.  Finish it, just finish it!  But what does the cursor know?

After all, the end of the narrative is only the beginning of the novel.